A Little Play-by-Play

I am incredibly excited. If you couldn't tell.

New York! I love you, New York!

Friends and Family,

I opened my mission call yesterday, and it was the happiest day of my life so far. I cannot believe it actually came yesterday. It really was a tender mercy. I am grateful that Heavenly Father helped me out. Down to business...

I will be serving in the...

NEW YORK, NEW YORK SOUTH MISSION - SPANISH SPEAKING.

Holy moly!

I enter the Missionary Training Center on Wednesday April 18th, 2012. I will be there for 9 weeks, then I will head to New York to preach the gospel. I am so excited, and I can't believe I am this lucky.

This call feels so right, (it came from the Lord, how could it not?) anywhere else would not be right. THIS is my place and my mission. I can't wait to spend the next year and a half of my life serving the Lord!

YAY!

The IF Factor

There is a part of me that keeps saying, "You don't have any idea what you are doing." When this part of me starts to speak, I let it ramble. Mainly because, I respect the view point, and understand that I am not completely sure of what I am doing. My life is literally being decided for me. Of course, I have my agency and can back out at any moment. But I have chosen to let the next year and a half of my life be in complete tribute to God. I know it's the right decision, but for some reason, that doesn't make it any easier.

Last night, I recieved a blessing from my very best friend (Who has a new best friend, his fiance, which is okay by me because I'm glad he is finally finding his eternity. Not like I have a choice in the matter. I love Rachel so much and feel like she is one of my very best friends. I'm not sure why I'm saying all of this.). He holds the power to give me a blessing from God. In this blessing, my Heavenly Father reminded me that he loves me. That he is proud of the decisions I have made, and is by my side. I believe every word he said was true. The truth is so evident in this because, he didn't just heap all of my blessings to me. There were conditions. IF I have faith in him, he will help my anxious heart. IF I write down my impressions in my journal, the things I learn will help me in the mission field.

I think that the word IF makes God real. Because there are always conditions to everything. Nothing is really ever free, and if that were true (see that... if) things would be too easily taken for granted. And just think about all the things that we already do take for granted. God trusts me to spread his gospel. I'm not sure how, and I'm not sure why, but he does. He knows that IF he blesses me, I will respond, and IF I respond with humility and grace, he will continue to bless me. IF I don't, then I recieve the consequences of my actions.

Why then, is it so incredibly hard to wait for a call from the Lord? It's hard because I'm human. It's hard because I have not perfected the gift of patience. It is so hard, because I want so bad to have my Heavenly Father speak to me, and I am too stubborn to listen to what he has already been telling me. And that is...

SHELBY. I love you. Be patient. Take no thought for tomorrow, because you need to live right NOW. You need to focus on TODAY, this moment. Spend time with your family, show them your love. Open your heart to others and know that I am your God. Repent. Repent. Repent.

My Heavenly Father loves me, and wether my call comes today, tomorrow or in two weeks. He will still love me, and he will keep telling the same things OVER AND OVER until I listen, because it is THAT important. I urge whoever is reading this to listen to your spirit. Listen to that incredible power with you that helps you choose right from wrong. Listen to God. Hear his voice and follow his commands. If you don't, (again, if) you will find yourself sitting in the soil, wondering why God has deserted you... not realizing the seeds in your pocket, and the promise they bring.

Give Me A Break

(I screen captured this picture from Marissa D's website. It's from Lauren's wedding in December.)

I've been hard on myself a lot the past year or so. I think I've realized that more and more recently. I expect a lot from myself, and when I don't meet my own expectations, I can be really cruel. It's funny to think that you can go to battle without leaving your house. Funny because, there is no cause and there is no justice. What are you going to prove? That you can beat yourself to a pulp, and only slightly recover? It makes no sense.

That is why I'm here to say. I am great. I am worth it. I am a daughter of God. I have redeeming qualities.

One. I love to share my testimony. It doesn't matter who it is with, or where. I will share my testimony. I don't know everything, but I do know that God loves me. Which is good enough to share with the world.

Two. I have great love for my family. I can't always actively do what they need me to do, or be where they need me to be. BUT I can love them with all of my heart and soul, no conditions.

Three. I am a hard worker. I am dedicated to working, and to completing tasks that are given to me. I can do things quickly, efficiently, and right. (With proper instruction.)

Four. I am good with kids. I make up fun games, and cool activities to do with them, that don't involve watching TV or playing video games. I love kids, and I feel like I am a fun adult to be with, but also someone who knows how to lay down the law.

I haven't got much else on my mind that I am good at, but I know these few things. I try really hard to, be a good friend, love everyone I meet, stay positive, be patient, read the scriptures, pray, and have fun. All of those things are important to me, and with time I can get better at them. It just takes practice.

Sometimes

Sometimes...

It's hard for me to be nice to people, because they aren't nice to me.

I'm reminded of how much I love chocolate when I don't eat it for a week, then I eat a bunch of it in one day.

I feel self-conscious because I don't know how to go about this whole, "preparing for a mission" thing without looking like I'm crazy.

I am mildly dishonest when I drive the regular speed limit in the construction zones.

I can't imagine a world without God, my family and my friends.

I'm surprised that I still feel like I could've done things differently, when it was my decision to make.

I get a little too easily wrapped up in a book I'm reading, and then my mood changes to the mood of the book, and that can be very bad or good.

I indulge in guilty pleasures like stopping at the grocery store in the morning to buy an organic vanilla milk and a donut.

I wish all things in life were as wonderful as chocolate cheesecake and Gilmore Girls with my sister.

I borrowed this idea from Sam, at Young People in Love

To Do List

• Get mission papers & find out where I'm going. (I can't really do much about this now, so I'm waiting.)
• Paint my nails.
• Find a Temple Prep class and take the class.
• Go to the Temple.
• Drink more water.
• Get pictures taken by Jalene
• Buy mission clothes.
• Go to Provo for mission clothes.
• Play with Carter and Ryan.
• Go to the Temple for baptisims this weekend.
• Call the Temple to schedule a time.
• Save more money.
• Set aside money for car matinence and registration.
• Get vaccinations.
• Set aside money for when I get back.
• Deep clean closet again.
• Find basic tee's that don't kill my armpits.
• Find out what the status is on my gym membership. Write them a letter saying I want to terminate it.
• Jump out of a moving vehicle.
• Study preach my gospel
• Study the Book of Mormon more often.
• Go to the cabin with my family
• Figure out how to tell my jobs about my mission, and how to get my hours down without losing my jobs.
• Run.
• Download good church music to my iPod
• Find new black shoes to wear to work.
• Stop spending money. (hahahahahahahahahahaha)
• Finish watching Gilmore Girls with my sister.
• Randomly win tickets to Brad Paisley and Scotty Mcreery for next Saturday.
• Buy tickets to see The Hunger Games.
• Go to church and pay attention.
• Don't yell at anyone.
• Remember to, "Be valiant, be humble, and drive pride from your heart..."
• E-Mail extended family about the temple.
• Call Noel.
• Find an outfit for pictures with Jalene.
• Find money for pictures with Jalene. (oh heck.)
• Get a set scripture for my missionary plaque. I was thinking D&C 6:36

Did I forget something??